Nov 16 - Home for 9 weeks

Sitting in Ryan's room waiting for him to wake up to eat.  It's been a crazy few weeks with more downs than ups it seems. I've been reminded of the roller coaster that is prematurity many times, and still forget.  I think the biggest challenge (for us - is sleep).  For Ryan, it's many things.  Lack of sleep does funny things to the ol' body and mind... we knew this.  Every parent knows this.  But there are very few ways to deal with it. I don't know where the coping mechanisms come from - by that, I mean how can some moms deal with the lack of sleep and some moms can't.  We have a ton of help and we are very fortunate to have had some amazing people come in to our lives lately.  I know that sleep will come.  Eventually.  Once we figure out how to get him to eat better.  Here's an abbreviated Ryan update:

• We visited 6 hospitals in 7 days this week.  
• Southlake ER to check hernia
• Sick Kids ER later that day to re-check hernia
• Sinai for an eye appointment that had been rescheduled to Wednesday, but no one told us
• Sick Kids for oxygen assessment and chest x ray (an appointment that we'll have every 2 months)
• Sinai for afore mentioned eye exam
• North York General for a visit with the chief of pediatric nutrition to assess Ry's feeding issues and reflux
• Our new nanny is awesome (thanks to the Ontario government Enhanced Respite grant for helping with this one)
• Ryan weighs 6.34 kg and is 61 cm long... I'm new school now, so I don't have the lbs and inches conversions
• We've had a 'cold' in our house for 3 weeks now.  Ryan and I spent 2 nights in Richmond Hill hospital before Hallowe'en because of it, but luckily it never made its way into his lungs... it just WON'T GO AWAY.  Neither will Sadie's - so I imagine that his will hang on even longer than hers will.  
• Anxiety about germs is mounting because I've seen how one tiny cold can be a huge setback.
• Our nursing support has been increased to 16 hours per week, which is great, but is still a lot of time without said nurse.  
• We're still feeding Ry every 3 hours but each feed takes an 45 mins to an hour, then he needs half an hr to settle - then he coughs 10 or 15 times (thereby waking/keeping us up), then it's time to do it again
• This is taking a negative tone - things aren't falling apart, we're ok... I'm just illustrating reality.  It's hard.  Harder than we (I) thought.  I could do a post on what's going on in my mind - but I'm not ready to share it with the internet at this point in time. I'll draft it, and one day when this is behind us I may post it
• We are already experiencing the frustration of wait-lists for services... more on that another day

We continue to be grateful that our family is together.  Sadie was pretend talking to frosty tonight on the phone and told him that Ryan came home.  She also occasionally talks about how mommy's home and I'm not going anywhere.  She amazes me every day.