Long time no write...

It has been a very long time since I last wrote.  In fact, it was October 1, 2013.  Shame on me.  Obviously a lot has happened since then!  I found 2 draft posts that for some reason, I never ended up hitting 'publish'.  I don't know why.  Maybe because often I'll think of ideas to write, but when I actually sit down to write, they don't come out properly.  Or maybe I'm just lazy.... yep - that's probably it.  So what have we been up to since October 1st?

• October: Ryan had his hernia repair surgery.  It was in his groin, so they didn't want to leave it too long.  He rocked surgery though, and didn't have to stay over night. I have a picture of him the next morning with a huge smile on his face.  It should serve as inspiration to any male who has to go 'under the knife down there.'  Ha ha, I kid... or do I...
• We had Hallowe'en.  Both kids got to go out this year. Ryan as Yoda, Sadie as Madeline.  It rained buckets so Ryan only had a few houses to visit and Sadie and I braved the whole (rather large) block.

*** If I were super blogger I'd have  a picture to accompany each point.  I have pictures, but by the time they load I will lose my train of thought.  Maybe a picture post will follow another day.  Now where was I...

• November:  Sadie turned 4! We had a very nice tea party for her at my parent's house and it was extra nice because both sets of grandparents were in attendance.  November birthdays are very tricky because it's the height of cold and flu season, so having a 'friend' birthday party wasn't in the cards this year.  Hopefully it'll happen one day... one day....
• We took in the Newmarket Santa Clause parade near the end of November and Ryan was able to join (insert very cute pics of both kids enjoying the floats)
• December: I got very brave while Martine and I had the kids at the mall one morning (yes, we went to the mall in December - those who know me know that was a big step in terms of my germaphobia).  We walked by Santa and there was no line!  We ran up (we really actually ran and squeezed in front of a family approaching the entrance).  Sadie stood beside, and Ryan was ok to sit on his lap. (insert picture of Ryan staring at the elf who was ringing extremely loud bells and Sadie smiling nervously).
• The lead-up to Christmas was exciting and nerve racking at the same time.  The previous Christmas we were not in a very good place.  We tried hard to make it 'normal' for Sadie but when I look back at pictures, there are a lot of tired eyes, and forced smiles.  This years pictures were a lot more 'real'.  Everyone was healthy which was HUGE.  Ryan was in a good sleeping pattern.  Eating was (and still is) an issue, but compared to where we were previously, it was definitely a happier Christmas. (insert festive smiley pictures)
• January:  On New Years 2013, it was the first time Ryan lifted his head up while lying on his tummy.  By 2014, he was cruising along the furniture.
• Scott turned.... an age and we took Sadie out to the Keg for a fancy dinner.  Being January, Ryan had to stay home.
• February:  I turned... an age.  Again, family dinner out, sans Ryan because it was February.
• Ryan was discharged from our CCAC therapists and picked up by the Children's Treatment Network therapists (for physio and occupational therapy).  I was really nervous about the change until I met the therapists.  They're AMAZING and what's even more amazing is that they would even go to his preschool.... if he EVER goes to preschool.
• March:  Wait - I'm caught up!? I have obviously glossed over a lot of detail, but basically this winter is slowly driving everyone crazy.  We (Scott and I) have been trying really hard to work on ourselves - after 2 very challenging years a lot has changed so now we have to change. The kids always come first and always will come first, but now when we can, we're trying to fit in things for ourselves. One MAJOR change is that we're moving to a brand new house.  We feel good about it - a nice space to start fresh (although it will be a mud pile for a very long time since we are the first of 4 phases to move in!)
• We move at the end of May, so in the meantime it's time to purge/pack/and organize!
• Sadie will might start at the new school in May.  I went to pick up her registration package (a big step) and made the mistake of asking how many kids will be in the class. 30.  What!? Apparently I haven't kicked my anxiety issues - or my public crying issue because I nearly had a panic attack in front of this poor secretary.  She was very nice, but still.  I know public school classes are big, but 30!?  yes, there's an EA in each class but that many kids does not help someone with a case of germaphobia! Hopefully once the sun starts shining and we can all have a little more fresh air, I'll feel a little better about it.  Or not. 

That's life with Ryan... a feeling of constant worry and always thinking of the 'what ifs'.  I know that it's important to live in the now and focus on the present and when I do that, I see that he's doing great.  But because I've been so intensely protective of both of them for 2 full years, it's really hard to rein it in and let them 'be'.  Or to let myself 'be'.  My family and friends have been amazingly supportive, understanding, and empathetic. Some have even pushed me a little (which I need!).  Ryan's 2nd birthday is approaching and I'm throwing around the idea of a meet & greet because he hasn't officially 'met' everyone yet.   We'll see. 

Anyway, sorry this is so long winded, that's what happens when you procrastinate something for 5 months!  I have lots of Ry related posts on facebook - that's another reason I've neglected the ol' blog.  Thank you for still reading, and for the continued support.

I can't remember when it happened or if I wrote about it already, but Ryan was discharged from the Sick Kids complex respiratory care team.  That was big news because I thought we'd be with them for at least 5 years!

ps. thank you to a certain friend for the gentle reminders to update my blog!