Dec 26

Christmas is over... it was a big lead up toward the big day because we were on eggshells about germs.  All we wanted for Christmas was healthy kids.  Scott got hit with a wicked cold about a week ago, so this is how he spent the last week:

We hope the effort to avoid the germs pays off, but today Sadie came down with a mild fever.  We immediately shipped her off to my parents.  You might wonder about all the crazy germ control, but a friend of ours that we met in the NICU is going through a very hard time with her little guy.  He had a 'cold', and they took him in to get checked out... more than a week later, and he's currently at Sick Kids, back on c-pap and in the PICU.  He was a bit ahead of Ryan in terms of oxygen requirement and feeding... this is a huge setback for him.  His mom is an amazing woman who has this incredible ability to see the good in any situation (unlike myself!).  Their situation  has been weighing heavy on my mind all week.  I feel bad for them, and it is a big lesson in perspective.  We are very lucky to be where we are. It also is a reality check of how these wee guys just can't fight even the common cold.  Ryan has made great strides since he's been feeling better and we are working hard to keep him from having another big setback. Part of me knows it's inevitable, but in order to keep our consciences clear, we have to do EVERYTHING possible to protect him.  It is very hard as a mom to have to choose between your kids.  Sadie's sick, and I know that what's best for her is to be home, cuddling in her own bed, but when we look at the risk of her being home, we know that she'll be well taken care of at my mom's, and she can fight a cold like a champ, unlike wee brother.  I'm sure each cold it will get more tolerable (I won't say easier, because it will never get easier). 

Another notable moment came yesterday - Sadie had gone to my parent's for a change of scene.  I was with Ryan in his room and I had a moment of emotion about my friends in the ICU, and also just the day in general.  I cried.  All of a sudden Ry looked at me like, 'mom, come on, get over it, I'm gonna be ok.'  It sounds crazy, I know.  I put him on the bed, and he proceeded to laugh, smile, and coo like a 'regular' baby.  His timing was perfect, and after that he had a great day. We're still all learning a lot about ourselves, and each other. 

We hope everyone had a very merry christmas.