June 7

After a long week of waiting, the PDA ligation is complete. Now Ryan will forever have a tiny metal clamp in his chest (the doctor said it's so small it won't set metal detectors off, phewwf). The doctor said surgery was a success. After it was complete, I felt 10 lbs lighter with this weight off my shoulders.... I hesitate to wriet that, because there are still complications that can arise, but hopefully the worst is over. It's been an emotional week, preparing for surgery, having it be postponed, not having an idea of when it was going to happen, one of the harder parts was seeing the families at sick kids with kids way sicker than Ryan and knowing that some of the reasons for the delays were because of complications during other surgeries. 
We came home to get some sleep.  As we left just after 9, Ryan was starting to wake up and seemed ok  They gave him some medicine to lower his blood pressure because his body has to learn to circulate blood in a whole new way and that's hard when you're tiny!  Tonight we go to sleep hoping our phone stays quiet, but Sadie's at my parent's house just in case we get a dreaded call. 
I've gotten a few more grey hairs and worry lines and have started to become a bit of a stress-eater... those caramel fudge squares that Scott picked up for me from Starbucks, sure made waiting for surgery slightly tolerable.
Ryan was just under 3 pounds today - getting to be a 'big boy'.  He's 30 weeks and 4 days.